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With the advent of a New Year, it’s time for a little holiday reflection. Children have the ability to know just what to say and do to bring a lighthearted spirit to a special occasion and make it memorable. Equally memorable is the disappointment when a child is presented with the “wrong present” and doesn’t know how to react appropriately. Could it be we are raising ungrateful children?
At the sight of a disappointing gift, children tend to display negative emotional behavior because they lack the mature social skills needed to control their feelings. Remember, children are not born with these skills – they must be taught. “By practicing proper gift exchange etiquette at home, children will be prepared to handle gift giving and receiving in a respectful, appreciative manner,” says developmental psychologist, Alicia R. Ventresca.
Give the gift of gratitude to your child by practicing some easy gift exchange guidelines in the New Year with their favorite doll or stuffed animal. I’m going to use “Teddy” for an example.
* Gift wrap a small toy or allow your child to make a gift and describe how homemade gifts are even more special to give.
* Be sure Teddy isn’t busy – if he is, wait patiently until he is finished with his work.
* Before presenting a gift, have your child make eye contact and smile. Explain that it is important to appear friendly when presenting a gift.
* While handing the gift to Teddy, ask your child to say in a clear, strong voice, “This gift is for you, Teddy. I hope you like it.” If presenting a homemade gift, tell your child to give a little background information about where and how the gift was created and allow your child to take pride in doing a good job.
* Have Teddy open the gift and say, “Thank you, I like it very much.” Your child should reply, “You’re welcome. I’m so happy you like it.” Ms. Ventresca claims, “Knowing what it feels like to be the gift giver is essential to becoming a gracious receiver.”
Now, reverse the roles and allow your child to be the gift receiver. Describe how Teddy did his best to choose a gift they’d like and how hard he worked to give the perfect gift. Your child should say, “Thank you, this is so nice of you.” Teach your child to find one thing good to say about the gift. If it’s something the child already has or doesn’t like, simply have him/her thank Teddy for his thoughtfulness. Explain that negative comments and making faces is considered rude.
The next time you have an occasion for a real gift exchange, make your expectations clear to your child by saying, “Although there will be a lot of excitement, I expect you to behave considerately and politely.” Help spread the gift of gratitude by encouraging polite words like “please” and “thank you!”
To contact Etiquette Consultant Jill Evans Kryston, visit www.DefiningManners.com
